The War Within: Choosing the Future Over the Past

I sometimes wonder if there is too much of a good thing. Too much food. Too much money. Too much therapy even though I’ve been a big beneficiary personally of therapy. 

It’s good to understand yourself, your internal and deep seated driving issues. Stuff lurking subconsciously that impair your emotions and actions in day to day life or in relationships. Suppressing them only makes these emotions and issues surface more violently later. Stuff like my anger management issues. Apparently this is common among many men. Anger management issues were the apparent cause of Jolie leaving Brad Pitt and Heidi Klum leaving superstar musician Seal. 

Like most people, I know when I mess up. I feel it deeply. And accept the responsibility and try to make it right. But somewhere along the lines in therapy and western culture there is this movement to continually live in it. Something Freudian in that we have to keep soaking in this trauma. I get that. That’s why so many of us get stuck in the past with regret. You think: If only I did this, or if I said this, or did something else, everything would be better. But that’s futile and a trap. 

I wonder if there is a point like Freud's contemporary psychologist Adler says, that the past traumas stop mattering and that you just need to move on. You have to let it go. 

You are a different person now compared to 5 years ago. Hopefully a better one. Learn from the past. Treasure the nostalgia of the good times back then. 

Enjoy the present and act. The only thing that matters is what you do now. Taking action in the present to make a better future for yourself, your family and society.